TV and Burgers

39 days, 20 players, 1 Survivor! Greetings and salutations true believers! For today we will briefly discuss the premiere of Survivor. Now before I go too far let me acknowledge something; I am a true, die-hard Survivor junkie. I have been watching since day one and I just cannot stop. We are into season 39 and it still intrigues me. Obviously there are some seasons I like more than others. I will say I did not like the Redemption Island twist last season. I still believe that once you are voted out you are finished. The sight of Jeff snuffing the torch should be your end on the show. Elizabeth Well this season that appears to be the case. The cast, at first glance, appears to be stellar. I have already chosen a few favorites and I have noticed that no one has come across, at least yet, as the clear villain. While I like the idea of a boot camp, I cannot and will not ever get over the two big ass statues of Boston Rob and Sandra at the Island of the Idols. They...

Every season of Survivor needs a good villain. And by villain I mean someone that you just love to hate. Richard Hatch was such a villain. Jerri Manthey was a good villain. So was Coach and so was Russell Hantz. Even Phillip made a good villain, even though he is now more of a cartoon character than villain. You root against them, but at the same time it’s kind of good to have them around for a long time as they add so much to the show’s dynamic. Think about it; if you don’t have Snidely Whiplash to torment Nell then you have no Dudley Do-Right. It’s just the way it is. But this season is different. We have Shamar and he is not a good villain. I am not even sure if he is a bad villain. I think he’s just a clueless asshole with incredible anger issues. He serves no purpose on the show whatsoever. He’s not a hero and not a villain. He’s not likeable in the least and he appears to be despised by everyone except Sherri, who sees him as a cranky teenager working ...

A while back I received two emails from some of my alleged fans saying they were tired of my Survivor recaps so I stopped.  Well, the outcry from my loyalist of fans has been immense and thus I am announcing a return to the weekly Survivor recaps that all but two of you have come to know and love.  And since I will be doing recaps I only thought it fair to give a season preview as well. Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites was filmed from May 21st through June 28th 2012 and will premiere on CBS on February 13th.  It marks the second time that fans have had the opportunity to play against fan favorites.  I have to say that even though the previous FvF season was one of the all time best, I can't actually say I am thrilled to be seeing it again.  I like my new seasons of Survivor to be fresh.  I relish the opportunity to meet new castaways and see how they bond.  With a team of newbies playing a veteran team some of that pleasure if lost.  Ho...

I had no idea I would get this many complaints about not posting a Survivor update.  Sometimes I have busy days.  I understand they are rare, but they do occasionally happen and yesterday was just one of those days.  My apologies. The penultimate episode of Survivor: South Pacific was a doozy.  This may have been the finest episode of a stellar season.  We started off with the five remaining survivors making their way back to camp after ousting Edna.  Then they proceeded to hug, congratulate each other and pray.  Praying has become a recurring theme for this season and this episode had plenty of it.  While I have absolutely no trouble with anyone taking time to pray, I do have a problem with foolish prayers.  Again, if God is spending all of his/her time watching Survivor and is overly concerned about the outcome then our world is way more screwed up than I initially thought.  But, the happiness would soon be wearing off ...

Before I get started I want to offer a suggestion for Survivor.  Next summer you need to have Survivor: Hantz vs. Wade where eight members of Brandon’s family battle against eight members of Coach’s family.  This will likely be the greatest season in Survivor history and will be especially exciting to see how they turn on each other.  Much like how Papa Sean Hantz could not believe how poorly his son was playing the game and shocked he was not yet eliminated.  Plus, the way Papa Sean approached Coach to ensure that Brandon would make the final three seemed eerily to the Godfather making him an offer he couldn’t refuse.  Just a thought for you producers out there.  I also am reporting to you now that I have officially decided to discontinue my Survivor recaps after this fall season ends.  Sorry my friends, but I’m just tired of doing it.  If you’re lucky I may treat you to a solo shot if there is a particularly good episode this win...

After taking a week off for Thanksgiving, Survivor returned with a bang last night.  I learned that Cowboy Guy has a name, Rick, and that he can actually speak.  Seriously, has he been sitting down and watching this with his family and having to say something like “I was there! Really!” Well now they finally have proof.  I also learned that I have a really dirty mind as many things that were spoken made me giggle like a kid.  But, as usual, we will start at the beginning.  Cochran made a charming comment that he felt like he was in league with the Manson Family and he was afraid he was Sharon Tate.  Then he immediately grossed everyone out by telling us a story of how he made phony phone calls as a kid, but was never very good at it.  Cochran said he used to call girls and say “I really want to swap sperm with you.”  Apparently law is the right profession for Cochran as anything in the medical field seems completely out of the questi...

Why the producers of Survivor insist on subjecting us to Redemption Island I have no idea.  For now we are stuck with Jim whining about their lament, Keith standing around looking stupid and Ozzy desperately trying not to say I told you so while simultaneously actually saying I told you so.  Ozzy is both a moron and an oxymoron.  As Te Tuna returned to camp, Coach made a point of telling Whitney & Dawn that they had nothing to worry about and he was worried about Albert plotting something against him.  Now why Coach chose to lie to them I had no idea.  Seriously, he had been saying ever since the merge that they would be picking off the old Savaii one by one so why did they have nothing to worry about?  I’ll give Whitney credit, for once, because she noted that most of Upolu would never get to the finals with Coach.  She could not believe how “smart people could be so stupid”.  This coming from a girl that not only sings country...

Cochran was the victim of a tirade from Jim, Ozzy & Whitney when they returned to the Te Tuna camp.  Seriously, is that the best name they could think of?  Te Tuna?  It’s awful.  Anyway, Jim told Cochran that he was a coward and used some choice words to describe him.  Whitney told Cochran that she was disgusted by him and proved she had a potty mouth that was on par with Jim.  I’ve said previously that Whitney is hot, but she really turned me off last night.  When a woman berates a nerd for playing a game and uses her potty mouth to do so it really is unsettling.  But Ozzy was a little different.  Ozzy called Cochran a “wiener”.  I don’t know why, but it made me laugh.  Ozzy took him aside to talk to him and they were interrupted by Brandon.  Gotta love Brandon despite all his faults.  He has become another gift from the Survivor gods.  Brandon has appointed himself as Cochran’s bodyguard and he want...

I finally have it figured out.  I know why there are tsunamis, earthquakes, teabaggers and other natural disasters.  I know why there is cancer, muscular dystrophy, Herman Cain and other diseases.  It’s because God does not care about those things as he/she is all consumed with Survivor.  God cannot be bothered with starvation and poverty because he/she loves listening to Coach tell him/her that he is not worthy.  (On a side note is it okay for God to call Coach Benjamin?  Just asking.)  God has to watch Survivor as it has now become a weekly prayer meeting for the Upolu tribe.  God must really love game shows set in tropical climates.  I’m sorry, but if God is truly interested in whether or not Upolu wins a challenge then we have some serious issues upstairs.  More on this insanity later. Our episode begins right off with Christine and the lovely Mikayla at the Redemption Island challenge.  Each contestant had to take...

What a wild night.  Not so much on Survivor, but with the Rays battling back from a 7-0 deficit to win in 12 innings combined with the collapse of the Red Sox gave Tampa Bay the American League Wild Card.  Meanwhile, the Phillies played hard while respecting the integrity of the game and knocked the Braves out of the playoffs giving the Cardinals the National League Wild Card.  I will say that I loved seeing Carl Crawford miss that fly ball against Baltimore .  It’s poetic justice for spurning the Rays and signing with the enemy.  What a night! Survivor was fun too, but I will admit that I was a bit preoccupied.  However, our episode began with Christine whining about Coach, but then again that’s something we all have done at one time or another.  She then compared him to King Farouk, who was the King of Egypt from 1936 until he was overthrown and exiled to Italy in 1952.  Christine obviously has something here because I thin...