TV and Burgers

A while back I received two emails from some of my alleged fans saying they were tired of my Survivor recaps so I stopped.  Well, the outcry from my loyalist of fans has been immense and thus I am announcing a return to the weekly Survivor recaps that all but two of you have come to know and love.  And since I will be doing recaps I only thought it fair to give a season preview as well. Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites was filmed from May 21st through June 28th 2012 and will premiere on CBS on February 13th.  It marks the second time that fans have had the opportunity to play against fan favorites.  I have to say that even though the previous FvF season was one of the all time best, I can't actually say I am thrilled to be seeing it again.  I like my new seasons of Survivor to be fresh.  I relish the opportunity to meet new castaways and see how they bond.  With a team of newbies playing a veteran team some of that pleasure if lost.  Ho...

Survivor: South Pacific has come to an end and it was a great season.  I have to start, however, by pointing out that I was absolutely correct in my prediction of Sophie being the winner.   Brandon  arrived at RI and promptly told Ozzy,   in not so many words, that he was a complete idiot for giving his immunity to Albert.  This was followed by the final RI duel in which Brandon and Ozzy had to hold onto their poles as long as possible.  Wait, that sounds wrong.  Having already seen Ozzy climb palm trees it was obvious that he would be victorious and Brandon would be sent to the jury.  Although Brandon made a game of it, his toes eventually gave out and he was a goner.  Ozzy, was back in the game and not exactly welcomed.  Ozzy, knowing he was going to be voted out immediately had to win immunity, but at the same time try and convince Coach that he was more worthy of keeping around until the end if the dragon slayer wanted a ...

I had no idea I would get this many complaints about not posting a Survivor update.  Sometimes I have busy days.  I understand they are rare, but they do occasionally happen and yesterday was just one of those days.  My apologies. The penultimate episode of Survivor: South Pacific was a doozy.  This may have been the finest episode of a stellar season.  We started off with the five remaining survivors making their way back to camp after ousting Edna.  Then they proceeded to hug, congratulate each other and pray.  Praying has become a recurring theme for this season and this episode had plenty of it.  While I have absolutely no trouble with anyone taking time to pray, I do have a problem with foolish prayers.  Again, if God is spending all of his/her time watching Survivor and is overly concerned about the outcome then our world is way more screwed up than I initially thought.  But, the happiness would soon be wearing off ...

Before I get started I want to offer a suggestion for Survivor.  Next summer you need to have Survivor: Hantz vs. Wade where eight members of Brandon’s family battle against eight members of Coach’s family.  This will likely be the greatest season in Survivor history and will be especially exciting to see how they turn on each other.  Much like how Papa Sean Hantz could not believe how poorly his son was playing the game and shocked he was not yet eliminated.  Plus, the way Papa Sean approached Coach to ensure that Brandon would make the final three seemed eerily to the Godfather making him an offer he couldn’t refuse.  Just a thought for you producers out there.  I also am reporting to you now that I have officially decided to discontinue my Survivor recaps after this fall season ends.  Sorry my friends, but I’m just tired of doing it.  If you’re lucky I may treat you to a solo shot if there is a particularly good episode this win...

Cochran was the victim of a tirade from Jim, Ozzy & Whitney when they returned to the Te Tuna camp.  Seriously, is that the best name they could think of?  Te Tuna?  It’s awful.  Anyway, Jim told Cochran that he was a coward and used some choice words to describe him.  Whitney told Cochran that she was disgusted by him and proved she had a potty mouth that was on par with Jim.  I’ve said previously that Whitney is hot, but she really turned me off last night.  When a woman berates a nerd for playing a game and uses her potty mouth to do so it really is unsettling.  But Ozzy was a little different.  Ozzy called Cochran a “wiener”.  I don’t know why, but it made me laugh.  Ozzy took him aside to talk to him and they were interrupted by Brandon.  Gotta love Brandon despite all his faults.  He has become another gift from the Survivor gods.  Brandon has appointed himself as Cochran’s bodyguard and he want...

This entry may be a tad shorter than usual today.  I’ve got a headache, I’m in a foul mood and I am extremely tired.  This is unfortunate because we had a whale of show last night.  My apologies, but let’s get right to the point. At the RI duel we learned that Ozzy is the world’s worst actor.  Seriously, I think I saw better acting in Busty Cops 3.  When Ozzy came out it raised a few eyebrows on the Upolu tribe and Ozzy should have let it at that.  Instead, he babbled endlessly about how he was fooled by Cochran and was seeking vengeance.  Albert said “I don’t buy it” and by the looks on the faces of Upolu no one else did either.  Well, maybe Edna.  I found it hard to believe that Jeff was able to not burst out laughing, but the look on his face clearly showed that he wanted to do so.  The duel itself was one we had seen before: each person would have to tie together a pole and reach three sets of keys to unlock a gate a...

I finally have it figured out.  I know why there are tsunamis, earthquakes, teabaggers and other natural disasters.  I know why there is cancer, muscular dystrophy, Herman Cain and other diseases.  It’s because God does not care about those things as he/she is all consumed with Survivor.  God cannot be bothered with starvation and poverty because he/she loves listening to Coach tell him/her that he is not worthy.  (On a side note is it okay for God to call Coach Benjamin?  Just asking.)  God has to watch Survivor as it has now become a weekly prayer meeting for the Upolu tribe.  God must really love game shows set in tropical climates.  I’m sorry, but if God is truly interested in whether or not Upolu wins a challenge then we have some serious issues upstairs.  More on this insanity later. Our episode begins right off with Christine and the lovely Mikayla at the Redemption Island challenge.  Each contestant had to take...

Can someone please explain to me who or what Coach is winking and saluting to?  I cringe every time he does it.  He gets this shit eating grin and salutes.  Why?  To what purpose?  Is he saluting the camera operators?  Is there a hot girl behind the scenes that he is winking at?  Does he suddenly see his reflection in a mirror and then pronounce his undying love for himself?  Oh wait, he loves Brandon now and Brandon loves Coach, but we’ll delve into that later. Our episode began with a very angry Ozzy throwing a fit over Elyse being voted out at TC.  Now if he had been complaining that the hottest girl on either tribe had just been ousted that would be one thing, but Ozzy was whining and crying because they did it behind his back.  Oh boo hoo Ozzy, haven’t you played this game enough to know how it is played?  Instead of just manning up and refocusing his efforts to be indispensible to the tribe, Ozzy declares himse...

I’m just telling you now that if anyone calls me by my first name I am going to go nuts.  I am the Big Blogger damn it!  No one has called me by my first name since I was eight.  Even my parents call me the Big Blogger.  Even before there was such a thing as a blogger I was called the Big Blogger.  Now, I realize how ridiculous that sounds, but Coach?  Well he went nuts a long time ago so I am guessing he has no clue, but we’ll delve into that with a little more detail later. Our show began as so many others have in the past, with Brandon crying and saying bad things about Mikayla.  Seriously, this guy has a lot of issues and maybe tossing him out in front of cameras with a bunch of strangers was not the best idea.  I know they do all sorts of psychological testing before sending anyone out, but I think they just gave Brandon a pass due to the Hantz name.  Who would have thought that Russell would be the more stable member of ...