Reality TV Sir Griffin Would Like to See

Except for Survivor and The Amazing Race, I have virtually no use for reality television. I don’t watch it and by design I know very little about it. I don’t care about anyone named Kardashian, people that drive trucks or hillbillies that fish with their hands. However, I have determined that there are several reality ideas I have in my head that I would watch if they actually aired. So take a look at my thoughts for reality television shows and let me know if you’d watch any of them.

Chelsea & Angie – Two of the sexiest and most beautiful Survivor contestants of all time, Chelsea Meissner and Angie Layton, move in to a beach house together. They spend their days and nights wearing bikinis and doing normal, everyday things. Sometimes they read the phone book aloud and they often run in slow motion on the beach. Though I could not promise anything it would be great if they became lovers. The beach house would be near where I live.

Seacrest or Death – A contestant is chained to Ryan Seacrest at the top of a very tall bridge. The contestant has a moral

dilemma: he/she can rid the world of Seacrest forever or remain chained to Seacrest for 30 days and win a million dollars. However, since you are chained together if you kill Seacrest you also kill yourself. So do you want to die a hero or have a million bucks?

Escape from Kardashian Prison – 12 contestants are locked in a padded cell with a random Kardashian. Contestants are not allowed to speak, but can only sit there and listen to the vapid ramblings of a Kardashian. Contestants can leave at any time and the last remaining human in the room wins the million bucks and the honor of telling the Kardashian to “shut the hell up”.

There Goes Honey Boo Boo – Honey Boo Boo and her family are stranded on a remote and uninhabited island somewhere in the Pacific. They are never seen or heard from again. (Technically this is a one-time special and not a series)

Fat Guy Bachelor – An overweight and fairly unattractive man in his late 40’s gets to spend several weeks with 26 beautiful women aged 18-25. Even though the women are repulsed by this dweeb they must compete for his affections.

Celebrity Gazpacho – 16 D-list celebrities (including Stephen Baldwin because it is virtually impossible to have a celebrity reality show without him) are locked in a house where the only thing to eat is gazpacho. Contestants learn to make their own gazpacho and serve it to their housemates. The Soup Nazi is judge and jury. The worst gazpacho maker is dismissed each week when he yells “No soup for you”.

La Ren Blanche – A dozen La Ren Papillion’s compete for the title of The White Queen. The dogs are groomed and also participate in a different challenge in each episode. We meet their handlers and both they and their dogs are judged by an AKC representative named Buffy.

Kirk Cameron vs. Bill Nye the Science Guy – The former child star matches wits with the beloved scientist. Again, this is probably just a one episode deal as I would guess that Cameron’s head would explode within the hour.

Praying for Discernment – 11 couples who are virtually unable to do any mundane task without praying about it first

set upon a journey from New York to LA. Each couple must pray for discernment before making any decision. Couples must not use any sort of public transportation and have to complete several tasks along the way which can include fixing an internet connection, closing a bank account, taking a child to the doctor and nodding & smiling at people that don’t speak English. Bonus points are awarded if teams can locate the Magic Motorcycle. Points deducted if you run over an old woman with said motorcycle.

So those are just a few of the thoughts I had. If any producers out there would like to get one of these shows on the air please feel free to contact me, Sir Griffin Stromboli.