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Due to extenuating circumstances I will be unable to post a complete Survivor Caramoan recap this week. Lady Gianna was injured and hospitalized and my time has been preoccupied with her and her recovery. I will give you a brief recap today: Reynold found another hidden immunity idol. Matt showed us his nasty feet. It rained a lot. The favorites won the reward challenge and had a feast. Corinne drank a lot of wine. Brandon went nuts, dumped the rice & beans, yelled at Phillip and then pretty much everyone else. His tribe forfeited the challenge and gave immunity to the fans. Jeff had to give Brandon an awesome shoulder massage in an attempt to calm him down. They held tribal council right there at the challenge location and they all voiced their votes to Jeff. It was unanimous and Brandon was voted out. Dawn cried. So did Andrea. Hopefully things will settle down and I can get back to full recap next week. Thanks for your support and understanding.

Our episode began with the dysfunctional Gota tribe returning to camp after another testy tribal council. Somehow, Shamar was still in the tribe and boy oh boy was Eddie pissed that his tribe voted off Hope. Eddie said “it’s mindboggling to me that we got rid of Hope tonight. She was the prettiest one here”. I’m with you on this one Eddie. How they can keep that lazy brute Shamar and get rid of Hope is beyond normal comprehension. Seriously, if I am stuck on an island for up to 39 days I want the prettiest people around me. But alas, I am not playing the game. Reynold went on a bit of a tirade as well since he had been blatantly lied to by Laura and apparently he had not realized that being lied to was a time honored Survivor tradition. Over at Bikal it was all unicorns and flowers as Phillip continued enshrining tribe mates into his secret “stealth R us” alliance. Frankly I am having trouble remembering what everyone’s secret name is, but it hardly matters. An...

Every season of Survivor needs a good villain. And by villain I mean someone that you just love to hate. Richard Hatch was such a villain. Jerri Manthey was a good villain. So was Coach and so was Russell Hantz. Even Phillip made a good villain, even though he is now more of a cartoon character than villain. You root against them, but at the same time it’s kind of good to have them around for a long time as they add so much to the show’s dynamic. Think about it; if you don’t have Snidely Whiplash to torment Nell then you have no Dudley Do-Right. It’s just the way it is. But this season is different. We have Shamar and he is not a good villain. I am not even sure if he is a bad villain. I think he’s just a clueless asshole with incredible anger issues. He serves no purpose on the show whatsoever. He’s not a hero and not a villain. He’s not likeable in the least and he appears to be despised by everyone except Sherri, who sees him as a cranky teenager working ...

I have been watching Survivor since the beginning and in doing so I have learned quite a few things. I have learned is that if the producers show us an arrogant guy at the beginning saying he will not be voted off while another guy is saying that the arrogant guy must go then it means two things: 1. That tribe will lose the immunity challenge and head to tribal council and 2. The arrogant guy will not get voted off despite half-hearted efforts by the producers to get us to believe otherwise. So was my early assessment on target as usual? Well, read on… Our episode began with the tribe of faves, Bikal, returning to camp. Brandon was visually upset. So upset in fact that new tattoos seemed to suddenly appear on his body. Just for a second, let’s recall how Brandon was like on his first go-round. Let’s see, he was very religious and did everything for Jesus, proclaimed he was nothing like Uncle Russell and gave up his immunity like an idiot and was voted out. (N...

As I have said before the Fans vs. Favorites format is not my favorite. I would much rather see 20 new people compete as opposed to 10 new people playing against Russell’s nephew, fuchsia undies, a woman no one remembered and seven others. However, after seeing Jeff standing majestically on his perch while helicopters flew by I was already hooked. The show began with the newbies on the Gota tribe arriving by boat. We were introduced to them before they were introduced to the favorites they would be playing against. As the favorites exited the helicopters the Gota tribe cheered and giggled when they saw who they were to be playing against. Well, except for Francesca since no one could remember her and Malcolm since they had no idea who he was. The favorites would now be known as the Bikal tribe. Jeff explained that they would have a challenge right away to play for fire and 20 pounds of farting beans. Okay, maybe he didn’t say that, but they played for beans no...

A while back I received two emails from some of my alleged fans saying they were tired of my Survivor recaps so I stopped.  Well, the outcry from my loyalist of fans has been immense and thus I am announcing a return to the weekly Survivor recaps that all but two of you have come to know and love.  And since I will be doing recaps I only thought it fair to give a season preview as well. Survivor: Caramoan - Fans vs. Favorites was filmed from May 21st through June 28th 2012 and will premiere on CBS on February 13th.  It marks the second time that fans have had the opportunity to play against fan favorites.  I have to say that even though the previous FvF season was one of the all time best, I can't actually say I am thrilled to be seeing it again.  I like my new seasons of Survivor to be fresh.  I relish the opportunity to meet new castaways and see how they bond.  With a team of newbies playing a veteran team some of that pleasure if lost.  Ho...

Although I have chosen not to do the weekly Survivor recaps I am still watching and I am absolutely loving this season.  This entry will not be a recap, per se, but rather a complete appreciation for what is being offered to the viewing audience this season.  There are certain things that Survivor needs to be successful year after year and the producers have done a masterful job of getting these roles filled. • Stupid people • Hot girls • A villain • Two guys that refer to themselves as Tarzan (this is rare) • More stupid people The Beautiful Chelsea First of all we have the incredibly sexy and beautiful Chelsea Meissner from South Carolina.  I am not afraid to admit that I am completely infatuated with her.  Whenever she is on screen she is all I can see.  If there is a group shot on the screen that flashes by in a second I will rewind and pause so I can see her standing there.  Sad?  Maybe, but I don’t care.  Pathetic?...

Survivor: South Pacific has come to an end and it was a great season.  I have to start, however, by pointing out that I was absolutely correct in my prediction of Sophie being the winner.   Brandon  arrived at RI and promptly told Ozzy,   in not so many words, that he was a complete idiot for giving his immunity to Albert.  This was followed by the final RI duel in which Brandon and Ozzy had to hold onto their poles as long as possible.  Wait, that sounds wrong.  Having already seen Ozzy climb palm trees it was obvious that he would be victorious and Brandon would be sent to the jury.  Although Brandon made a game of it, his toes eventually gave out and he was a goner.  Ozzy, was back in the game and not exactly welcomed.  Ozzy, knowing he was going to be voted out immediately had to win immunity, but at the same time try and convince Coach that he was more worthy of keeping around until the end if the dragon slayer wanted a ...

Before I get started I want to offer a suggestion for Survivor.  Next summer you need to have Survivor: Hantz vs. Wade where eight members of Brandon’s family battle against eight members of Coach’s family.  This will likely be the greatest season in Survivor history and will be especially exciting to see how they turn on each other.  Much like how Papa Sean Hantz could not believe how poorly his son was playing the game and shocked he was not yet eliminated.  Plus, the way Papa Sean approached Coach to ensure that Brandon would make the final three seemed eerily to the Godfather making him an offer he couldn’t refuse.  Just a thought for you producers out there.  I also am reporting to you now that I have officially decided to discontinue my Survivor recaps after this fall season ends.  Sorry my friends, but I’m just tired of doing it.  If you’re lucky I may treat you to a solo shot if there is a particularly good episode this win...

After taking a week off for Thanksgiving, Survivor returned with a bang last night.  I learned that Cowboy Guy has a name, Rick, and that he can actually speak.  Seriously, has he been sitting down and watching this with his family and having to say something like “I was there! Really!” Well now they finally have proof.  I also learned that I have a really dirty mind as many things that were spoken made me giggle like a kid.  But, as usual, we will start at the beginning.  Cochran made a charming comment that he felt like he was in league with the Manson Family and he was afraid he was Sharon Tate.  Then he immediately grossed everyone out by telling us a story of how he made phony phone calls as a kid, but was never very good at it.  Cochran said he used to call girls and say “I really want to swap sperm with you.”  Apparently law is the right profession for Cochran as anything in the medical field seems completely out of the questi...