Survivor: One World
Although I have chosen not to do the weekly Survivor recaps I am still watching
and I am absolutely loving this season. This entry will not be a recap, per se,
but rather a complete appreciation for what is being offered to the viewing
audience this season. There are certain things that Survivor needs to be
successful year after year and the producers have done a masterful job of
getting these roles filled.
• Stupid people
• Hot girls
• A villain
• Two guys that refer to themselves as Tarzan (this is rare)
• More stupid people
First of all we have the incredibly sexy and beautiful
Chelsea Meissner from South Carolina. I am not afraid to admit that I am
completely infatuated with her. Whenever she is on screen she is all I can
see. If there is a group shot on the screen that flashes by in a second I will
rewind and pause so I can see her standing there. Sad? Maybe, but I don’t
care. Pathetic? Probably, but again it does not matter. The girl is the whole
package and has the sexiest body ever seen on Survivor. Besides that she caught
two chickens with her bare hands. Now that’s a woman!
When the tribes were introduced to us we saw that they were separated into one tribe of men and the other of women. However they would not be living separately. In fact they would be on the same beach and free to live separately or as a group. Now if it was me I would have suggested we all pool our resources and strengths and live as comfortably as possible on the beach. That’s not what happened. The men acted sexist and rude and laughed at the misfortune of the girls. I could not have done that. Hot girls in bikinis could probably sway me into doing just about anything.
Besides Chelsea, Survivor One World has two gifts from the Survivor gods:
• Country Club Colton (the villain)
• Kat Edorsson (the idiot)
We also have Alicia Rosa who may be the world’s second most
frightening school teacher. (NaOnka from Nicaragua still owns that title)
Alicia does not seem to like anyone and finds losing a challenge to be
hilarious. But I am not quite sure yet if she is the gift that Colton & Kat
are already. Let’s start with Kat.
Kat Edorsson: A very cute girl, but with little up top except blond hair. Some of Kat’s highlights after four episodes include
• Kat's complete inability to follow directions. Hilarious.
• In episode one Kat asked what ambience meant because she had no idea.
• Kat explaining how she avoids anything in life in which she would be challenged. She only does things that she is good at. Gold I tell you. Pure gold.
• Kat farting on Alicia. It just does not get any better.
• Last night Kat was the first one on the reward challenge and as she jumped happily in the air she taunted the men with “Like that? Smell that?” I just went under the assumption that she was still farting.
• Nina (quite possibly the most unattractive female contestant ever) explained in episode two that she brought a lot to the group due to her 13 years with the LAPD. She point blank asks Kat what she brings to the group and get's this response: “I’m, like outdoors, and like, you know, sales and stuff and…um" I cannot stress this enough that Kat is gold.
• Also at Tribal Kat said "I'm not calling Christina out..." which essentially means that Kat just called Christina out. Passive aggressiveness. I love it.
• Last night the girls got their tree mail and realized it was a puzzle challenge for partners. Kat admitted she was not good at puzzles and needed a partner who was. Alicia volunteered and Kat replied “You’re not good at puzzles” to which Alicia replied “I know you’re not calling me stupid” which, of course, led to yet another vacant expression on the face of Kat. (Let us remember that Alicia said she was not stupid)
• And since we just mentioned Alicia, here is one of her best moments:
o Alicia said that if Christina was drowning she'd look the other way. Scary. No class.
Colton Cumbie: I’ll admit it, Colton had me fooled. I had no
idea he was going to turn into the villain. I also had no idea he would become
such a vile excuse for a human. I guess I figured it all out when he referred
to himself as a gay republican, which is an oxymoron if I’ve ever heard one. He
called Bill “ghetto trash” last week and this week he attacked Leif, the vampire
dwarf who hates snails. “I’m going to send that Munchkin back to Oz” was my
favorite line, but then later he referred to him as an Oompa Loompa. I’m not
sure which is more offensive, but quite frankly neither is very nice. In future
episodes I certainly expect to hear Colton refer to Leif as Santa’s elf, one of
the Seven Dwarfs and a Hobbit. Colton comes across as a privileged snob that
thinks he is better than everyone else (okay right there the republican thing
makes sense, but why would you part of a group that hates you?) So why does the
entire tribe treat him like he’s some sort of Don? I know he has an immunity
idol, but for crying out loud there are still plenty of numbers to gang up on
him, flush it out and get rid of him. However they all seem to come to Colton
for advice on who to vote for and who to let into the secret circle, etc. When
Colton heard that Leif had told Bill about his desire to get rid of him he
commanded Leif be brought to him. How does he have the power to sit in a
hammock doing nothing while others listen and obey him? He’s not Jesus people!
But Colton would get worse and we’ll get to that.
I won’t go into the details of the challenge in which the men won handily except to say that Alicia, who is not stupid (just ask her she’ll tell you), is not all that great at puzzles. Alicia and the beautiful Chelsea were strapped together, bit were flustered by the first of three puzzle challenges. They even looked at the guys completed puzzle and still could not get it right. By the time the second pair of girls were out on the course the guys were done. It was a complete annihilation.
So the men now how the immunity and would get a great edge on the women, who were looking at Alicia to be the one voted off. It makes sense to vote off Alicia since she is kind of annoying, definitely rude and fully capable of beating me up. (Honestly it would not take much) But wait, stupidity has gotten into the water supply at the men’s camp and Tarzan (as opposed to Troyzan) has come up with a plan to give the girls their immunity and vote off Leif for his crime of telling Bill their plans. I did not just hear that. No one is that stupid to give up the group’s immunity. Well, at least Tarzan said that it would have to be unanimous for it to happen. Obviously not everyone would go along with this ludicrous idea, particularly Leif & Bill since they knew their days were numbered. But sure enough they did.
I have said it before and will say it again: You never, ever, ever give up immunity. Never!
Now the dumbest tribe in Survivor history was voluntarily off to Tribal Council to vote off one of their own. And, as expected, it was one doozy of a TC. No one held back.
As they entered Jeff gave them a look of shock although I am sure he had been tipped off prior
to this by someone. Tarzan tells the story of Leif’s betrayal and explains why
they chose to give immunity to the ladies and be there at TC. Leif and Bill,
though stupid, showed class. Leif admitted his error and threw himself on the
mercy of the tribe. Eventually it all turned into a war of words between Bill
and Colton.
Colton was very vitriolic in his attack on Bill. First he said that Bill was annoying him at camp and then added that he needed to give up his career choice of being a stand up comic. Colton said what Bill’s father had probably told him 100 times: Have something to fall back on. Bill said that he had a dream and was pursuing it. I wish I could do that, but Colton did not agree. It seemed clear, at least to me, that Colton was disgusted with Bill because he was poor and not because he was black, although it certainly could be a little of both. Colton just let his republican mindset show through. Colton did say that despite the fact that he went to an all white private school he had African Americans in his life. When pressed by Jeff as to whom, the only one Colton could come up with was the family house keeper. Colton said she was like a member of the family. Jeff wisely pointed out that she was a paid member of the family. Oh life must be fun at the Cumbie plantation in Alabama.
And since he is, in fact, Tarzan, he had no choice but to interrupt and
make a statement about race relations in America and how he was sick and tired
of hearing about race. Despite his somewhat odd ramblings Tarzan was correct.
It should never have been and never should be about race. All humans are equal
in his eyes and should be to everyone. Here, here Tarzan!
In the end Bill was voted out and Leif was spared. Now I have seen Bill’s stand up comedy routines on YouTube and while I can’t say they really do it for me, I will say that he left the show with class. His final words for Colton (and all of us) were “he judged me on my differences and I accept him because of his”. I doubt we hear anything remotely classy from Colton if and when he departs. Nevertheless the tribes are back even again and one can only guess what is coming next.
It’s a great season of Survivor and I hope you are not missing it.
• Stupid people
• Hot girls
• A villain
• Two guys that refer to themselves as Tarzan (this is rare)
• More stupid people
 |
| The Beautiful Chelsea |
When the tribes were introduced to us we saw that they were separated into one tribe of men and the other of women. However they would not be living separately. In fact they would be on the same beach and free to live separately or as a group. Now if it was me I would have suggested we all pool our resources and strengths and live as comfortably as possible on the beach. That’s not what happened. The men acted sexist and rude and laughed at the misfortune of the girls. I could not have done that. Hot girls in bikinis could probably sway me into doing just about anything.
Besides Chelsea, Survivor One World has two gifts from the Survivor gods:
• Country Club Colton (the villain)
• Kat Edorsson (the idiot)
We also have Alicia Rosa who may be the world’s second most
 |
| Kat |
Kat Edorsson: A very cute girl, but with little up top except blond hair. Some of Kat’s highlights after four episodes include
• Kat's complete inability to follow directions. Hilarious.
• In episode one Kat asked what ambience meant because she had no idea.
• Kat explaining how she avoids anything in life in which she would be challenged. She only does things that she is good at. Gold I tell you. Pure gold.
• Kat farting on Alicia. It just does not get any better.
• Last night Kat was the first one on the reward challenge and as she jumped happily in the air she taunted the men with “Like that? Smell that?” I just went under the assumption that she was still farting.
• Nina (quite possibly the most unattractive female contestant ever) explained in episode two that she brought a lot to the group due to her 13 years with the LAPD. She point blank asks Kat what she brings to the group and get's this response: “I’m, like outdoors, and like, you know, sales and stuff and…um" I cannot stress this enough that Kat is gold.
• Also at Tribal Kat said "I'm not calling Christina out..." which essentially means that Kat just called Christina out. Passive aggressiveness. I love it.
• Last night the girls got their tree mail and realized it was a puzzle challenge for partners. Kat admitted she was not good at puzzles and needed a partner who was. Alicia volunteered and Kat replied “You’re not good at puzzles” to which Alicia replied “I know you’re not calling me stupid” which, of course, led to yet another vacant expression on the face of Kat. (Let us remember that Alicia said she was not stupid)
• And since we just mentioned Alicia, here is one of her best moments:
o Alicia said that if Christina was drowning she'd look the other way. Scary. No class.
 |
| Chelsea |
I won’t go into the details of the challenge in which the men won handily except to say that Alicia, who is not stupid (just ask her she’ll tell you), is not all that great at puzzles. Alicia and the beautiful Chelsea were strapped together, bit were flustered by the first of three puzzle challenges. They even looked at the guys completed puzzle and still could not get it right. By the time the second pair of girls were out on the course the guys were done. It was a complete annihilation.
So the men now how the immunity and would get a great edge on the women, who were looking at Alicia to be the one voted off. It makes sense to vote off Alicia since she is kind of annoying, definitely rude and fully capable of beating me up. (Honestly it would not take much) But wait, stupidity has gotten into the water supply at the men’s camp and Tarzan (as opposed to Troyzan) has come up with a plan to give the girls their immunity and vote off Leif for his crime of telling Bill their plans. I did not just hear that. No one is that stupid to give up the group’s immunity. Well, at least Tarzan said that it would have to be unanimous for it to happen. Obviously not everyone would go along with this ludicrous idea, particularly Leif & Bill since they knew their days were numbered. But sure enough they did.
I have said it before and will say it again: You never, ever, ever give up immunity. Never!
Now the dumbest tribe in Survivor history was voluntarily off to Tribal Council to vote off one of their own. And, as expected, it was one doozy of a TC. No one held back.
As they entered Jeff gave them a look of shock although I am sure he had been tipped off prior
 |
| Chelsea, Alicia & Monica |
Colton was very vitriolic in his attack on Bill. First he said that Bill was annoying him at camp and then added that he needed to give up his career choice of being a stand up comic. Colton said what Bill’s father had probably told him 100 times: Have something to fall back on. Bill said that he had a dream and was pursuing it. I wish I could do that, but Colton did not agree. It seemed clear, at least to me, that Colton was disgusted with Bill because he was poor and not because he was black, although it certainly could be a little of both. Colton just let his republican mindset show through. Colton did say that despite the fact that he went to an all white private school he had African Americans in his life. When pressed by Jeff as to whom, the only one Colton could come up with was the family house keeper. Colton said she was like a member of the family. Jeff wisely pointed out that she was a paid member of the family. Oh life must be fun at the Cumbie plantation in Alabama.
 |
| Chelsea |
In the end Bill was voted out and Leif was spared. Now I have seen Bill’s stand up comedy routines on YouTube and while I can’t say they really do it for me, I will say that he left the show with class. His final words for Colton (and all of us) were “he judged me on my differences and I accept him because of his”. I doubt we hear anything remotely classy from Colton if and when he departs. Nevertheless the tribes are back even again and one can only guess what is coming next.
It’s a great season of Survivor and I hope you are not missing it.
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