Two & a Half Men Can go on Without Sheen
The problem is that the show is extremely lucrative and CBS still has a deal in place for a ninth season. How can they continue a show about two guys and a kid (who technically is no longer a half) without the main star of the show? Other shows have tried to continue without main characters with dismal results. So what should Lorre, CBS and Warner Brothers do to save the show? I have come up with my own plans and if the powers that be decide to use them I expect to be compensated appropriately. Somewhere in the range of what Sheen would get for just one episode is fine. I’m not greedy.
When we last left the show Charlie had just run off to Paris with Rose, his one true love. Alan has taken $50,000 from Rose to pay back everyone he owed from his little investment scheme and to keep his mouth shut about Rose’s husband, Manny Quinn, actually being a mannequin. And now I give you what needs to happen in season nine to keep the show alive and making money.
1. As far as I am concerned Charlie is irreplaceable and any attempt to replace him with another actor will be a complete failure. It would also be a failure to bring in another character that acts and dresses the same way to live with Alan. The first episode of season nine needs to take place after Charlie’s funeral. Yes, Charlie Harper must die in Paris in the arms of Rose. Kill him however you want, but too much alcohol would go along great with the character.
2. At the reading of Charlie’s will we will see Alan, Jake, Berta, Rose, Evelyn and an assortment of beautiful, well endowed women who will be later identified as Charlie’s regular hookers. Charlie will leave nothing to his mother or Alan (he just wanted them there to rub it in) and some personal mementos to Rose. A lot of his money will be split amongst the hookers, however, he will leave his cars and future royalties to Berta. His house and the rest of his cash will be left to Jake to do with as he pleases. The will also stipulates that all the debt Alan has accrued over the years and is owed to Charlie will now be owed to Jake.
3. As the new owner of a house in Malibu, Jake allows his father to live with him and keeps Berta on as the housekeeper. As with any teenage boy that is given a lot of money he will blow a lot of it on a big party, girls and a new car.
4. Alan is in the same boat as he has always been, but now he owes money to Jake instead of Charlie and still languishes in his room downstairs while Jake takes over the master suite and attempts to live like a king.
5. Although Jake should not morph into a little Charlie Harper there should be at least one episode where he makes the attempt and fails.
6. Do not change the name of the show. After eight years no one will care that it does not make sense. Heck, it doesn’t make sense now.
Okay do you get the idea? We have quickly turned the focus of the show from Charlie and Alan to Jake and Alan without changing Alan’s character or adding another Cousin Oliver. You can still have Evelyn being disappointed in her son and grandson, you can still have Judith and Herb around for their comedic efforts and Rose can still be around on occasion. And this way you can finish up your contractual obligation and then bring the show to some natural conclusion.
You can thank me later with a substantial financial compensation.
I am reminded of an episode of Roseanne, when both she and Dan are talking to Anthony Geary from old General Hospital days, and finally mention that their older daughter had totally changed, and that they had ignored this fact all season.
ReplyDeleteMy proposal--and I, too, am not greedy, 1 episode (at Charlie's salary) is fair-- would be to do this same thing, only, change the actor who would play Charlie every 1 or 2 episodes! With 22-26 episodes, you could easily rotate in 11-13 actors (at 2 episodes per actor).
For instance, Eddie Murphy, Kathryn Heigl (female version of Charlie), Emelio Estevez (LOL), etc, etc. Then, you can open each episode with the remaining 1 & 1/2 men waiting outside of Charlie's bedroom, waiting to see who comes out!
They don't ever outright say anything about the ever-changing Charlie, but, share "knowing" looks between each other and the camera! Perhaps allow them a single quip after the revelation of this week's Charlie, even.
That is how I would do it.
Jake Ervin
I like your idea too Jake. Either way would be fine with me.
ReplyDelete