Survivor: South Pacific: Everyone Grab Your Coconuts

This entry may be a tad shorter than usual today.  I’ve got a headache, I’m in a foul mood and I am extremely tired.  This is unfortunate because we had a whale of show last night.  My apologies, but let’s get right to the point.

At the RI duel we learned that Ozzy is the world’s worst actor.  Seriously, I think I saw better acting in Busty Cops 3.  When Ozzy came out it raised a few eyebrows on the Upolu tribe and Ozzy should have let it at that.  Instead, he babbled endlessly about how he was fooled by Cochran and was seeking vengeance.  Albert said “I don’t buy it” and by the looks on the faces of Upolu no one else did either.  Well, maybe Edna.  I found it hard to believe that Jeff was able to not burst out laughing, but the look on his face clearly showed that he wanted to do so. 

The duel itself was one we had seen before: each person would have to tie together a pole and reach three sets of keys to unlock a gate and walk through to victory.  Christine could not get her pole to stay together and was unable to get a single key.  I was really hoping to hear Jeff say something like “Ozzy has a nice long pole”, but alas all his best pole humor was used on Christine.  Ozzy won and the tribes merged. 

After the obligatory merged tribe feast it was time for Cochran to play double agent.  The plan was for Cochran to infiltrate the six members of Upolu, gain their trust and report everything back to the former Savaii.  Cochran went to speak to Coach.  Say what you will about Coach, and I know you will because I will too, but Coach is an endless gift from the Survivor gods.  Despite his continual references to himself, winks and salutes to no one, he has become a much better player this season.  Coach called out Cochran and said that he did not believe Ozzy’s story.  He also said that the six of them were not budging an inch.  Then he

drew a line in the sand (literally) and dared Cochran to cross it.  Cochran told Coach how he was always made fun of and always an outsider in his own tribe.  Coach told Cochran that he knew what it felt like to made fun of, because he used to have the same thing happen to him before he was the Dragon Slayer.  Before?  Before you were the Dragon Slayer?  Um, Coach, I think it was before, during and after.  Everyone is still making fun of you Coach.

We all know that Cochran is a fan of the game, but his ability to play it is questionable.  At this point what he should have done was drop the whole double agent thing and gone back to his people and let it ride at 6-6.  Instead, Cochran got diarrhea of the mouth and told Coach everything.  Cochran also decided to tell Sophie, without getting anything in return, that Ozzy had the hidden immunity idol and he was going to give it to Whitney. 
And to be perfectly honest I did not understand Cochran’s moves at all.  He was like a child that could not decide if he wanted to be with the kids he grew up with or the new kids. 

The challenge was now for individual immunity and there would be immunity for one man and one woman.  The challenge consisted of holding a coconut on two pieces of rope while simultaneously balancing themselves on small perch.  I initially thought they’d be standing on a fish, but I was wrong.  The length of rope would be increased at regular intervals.  Jeff told everyone to put their ropes around their coconuts and the challenge was on.  Dawn won immunity for the women and Ozzy for the men.  This was seemingly great for the former Savaii.  Two of their people were safe, plus a third (Whitney) with the hidden idol.  So if the vote was split and it came down to picking rocks only Cochran, Keith and Jim would be choosing thus increasing the odds that a former Upolu would be going to RI.  Unfortunately, Cochran became Charlie Brown.  That is to say, wishy washy.

At TC the solid Upolu tribe expressed how they did not believe Ozzy’s performance and Ozzy confessed.  They said they were not budging and so did the old Savaii.  Because Cochran had filled in Sophie on the plan to give Whitney the idol, she was safe, but received not a single vote.  Instead Upolu targeted Keith and wisely so.  Don’t you want to get rid of the stronger players first when it comes to individual immunity challenges?  Or is that just me? 

The first vote came down and it was tied 6-6.  Six for Keith and six for Cowboy Guy.  A second vote would be held and if that was still tied then they’d all be choosing rocks.  Despite the odds being in his favor, Cochran was panicked about possibly being ousted from the game by the pick of a rock out of a bag.  He could not come to terms with this and ended up switching his vote and getting rid of Keith. 

Now let me just say that this was stupid.  What are the odds of Cochran getting that much farther in the game than he already would have been?  If old Upolu now picks off Savaii one by one, Cochran can now finish no better than seventh behind Edna.  At worst before he would have been sixth.  Now he has drawn the ire of Savaii and Jim called him a coward.  I have to give it to Brandon for standing up for Cochran and taking him under his wing.  He gave Jim a talking to and told him that if they had not treated him like that in the beginning then they wouldn’t be in that mess.  I’ll admit the sight of Brandon telling Cochran to stay close to him was quite sweet.  Although if Brandon had done that weeks ago with Mikayla I’d have been much happier. 

So what happens next?  Is there any move that Cochran can make to get farther in this game?  Can anyone on Savaii ever trust him again?  And does anyone on Savaii have any chance of winning?  My answers would be: I don’t know, no, no and no.