Survivor: South Pacific: Te Tuna

Cochran was the victim of a tirade from Jim, Ozzy & Whitney when they returned to the Te Tuna camp.  Seriously, is that the best name they could think of?  Te Tuna?  It’s awful.  Anyway, Jim told Cochran that he was a coward and used some choice words to describe him.  Whitney told Cochran that she was disgusted by him and proved she had a potty mouth that was on par with Jim.  I’ve said previously that Whitney is hot, but she really turned me off last night.  When a woman berates a nerd for playing a game and uses her potty mouth to do so it really is unsettling.  But Ozzy was a little different.  Ozzy called Cochran a “wiener”.  I don’t know why, but it made me laugh.  Ozzy took him aside to talk to him and they were interrupted by Brandon.  Gotta love Brandon despite all his faults.  He has become another gift from the Survivor gods.  Brandon has appointed himself as Cochran’s bodyguard and he wanted to make sure that no one was going to be aggressive with him.  He’s like the kid in the playground that protects the nerdy kid from the bullies.  If you mess with him, you mess with me.  Ozzy replied to Brandon by telling him “we’re not like gangsters out here man”.  That line made me laugh too, but not as much as “wiener”. 

Why were these three so angry?  Yes, they were betrayed and yes they now knew that they were going to get picked off one by one, but have they all forgotten that this is a game?  Have they all forgotten that to win this game you sometimes have to make a bold move?  Have they all forgotten that they have pretty much despised Cochran since day one and wanted him to be the first to go?  I have to commend Cochran for standing up for himself and taking the high road when he was attacked by three of his former tribe mates. 

After some fabulous Tai Chi from Coach it was off to the first immunity challenge of the night.  That’s right my friends, it was a double elimination night!  I love those, but I like them better when they are truly double elimination instead of double go to Redemption Island night.  The challenge was a pretty cool one and I loved how it started out.  Each castaway had to throw a coconut into a hole in the sand.  I loved this as it balanced the playing field.  Anyone could have won this part of the challenge and the first four to do so would move on to the finals.  There each of the final four would have to bang on a coconut, put as much coconut water into their mouth, traverse a maze and then expel the water into a tube.  Whoever filled the tube first would win immunity.  Dawn, Whitney, Jim & Sophie all got to the final round.  It was a battle between Jim and Sophie as Dawn and Whitney were way too slow on the coconuts.  I liked it when Jeff said that Whitney had a big mouthful as I am

sure she has had that many times before.  Jim got to the point where his tube was almost full and Sophie had the opening to win.  Unfortunately for her she started gagging on the water and let it all fly out in the maze.  Jim was victorious and saved himself from RI for at least one more night.

“The greatest inspiration is often born of desperation.”  According to Coach, that is a quote from Roman Emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius.  I had never heard the quote before, but knowing Coach as I do I made the natural assumption that he was wrong.  I was correct.  After using Google I found the quote was from an American businessman by the name of Comer Cottrell.  Mr. Cottrell is the founder of a successful cosmetics company named Pro-Line.  I cannot explain as to why Coach misattributed that quote except to say that he is Coach and it’s hard to believe anything coming out of his mouth.  Frankly I don’t even recall why Coach decided to say this, but I think it was in response to Ozzy’s desperate attempt to convince Coach not to vote him out. 

Jim came up with a crazy idea to give his immunity to Ozzy and then convince the former Upolu tribe to vote out Cochran.  There is no way that this was going to work.  I’ll say it now that taking Cochran all the way to the finals would be a brilliant move.  The Upolu will not vote for him to win and certainly he will not get any votes from the former Savaii after he pissed them off.  However, I could be wrong and they could see Cochran as the ultimate Survivor for his bold moves and ability to keep himself in the game after being targeted so early.  Doubtful, but a possibility nonetheless. 

Tribal Council was fairly uneventful as Jim decided to keep the immunity for himself.  Jim made the plea that voting out Cochran is the right move because there was no honor or integrity in what he did.  Coach pooh-poohed that idea immediately with more of his philosophy, saying that doing that would send a message to all future Survivor contestants that sticking up for yourself will get you screwed.  Ozzy was voted out by a 9-2 score with even Dawn & Whitney voting for him.  Ozzy then ran to get his torch, ran to get it snuffed and then ran to RI to catch some big fish.  I guess it was his Forrest Gump moment.

I was expecting an RI duel next, but instead it was time for another immunity challenge.  Each contestant had a choice between participating in the challenge or partaking in some delicious pastries and lovely iced coffee.  It came as no surprise to me that Cochran and the former Upolu all chose to eat.  I would have done the same thing.  The challenge itself was contested between Jim, Whitney & Dawn and it consisted of balancing yourself on a beam while simultaneously balancing a ball on a wooden bow.  It did not look very easy, but it also appeared to be something that would end very quickly and there would not be much eating done.  Jim was eliminated first which brought out a not so subtle bit of exuberance from Brandon.  Jim was mad, but Whitney and Dawn continued.  This is when Dawn went a little overboard.  As she was standing there she told everyone that she would balance her ball as long as possible so the rest could eat.  Aw, how nice of her.  However it was also a line of bull cookies.  Are you telling me that Dawn is so nice that she wants to make sure that everyone gets lots and lots to eat while she watches and suffers?  I don’t buy it and as we will learn, neither did Brandon.  If it were me I would have dropped out as soon as Jim was done as it was obvious he was the next to go.  With him gone Dawn could have just let Whitney win and stopped all the feasting.  But they continued onward and Whitney eventually did win immunity. 

As we returned to Te Tuna we saw two stunning visuals.  One was the sight of Cochran dancing while wearing Cowboy Guy’s hat and Coach’s jacket.  That was one awesome sight and ultimately a good look for Cochran.  The other was Jim’s diagrams in the sand showing why he needed to stay.  It reminded me of Ross Perot’s ill fated charts back in 1992, but with sand. 

Off to our second TC of the night where Whitney started

to cry.  The betrayal of Cochran was just too much to handle.  Seriously?  Her whole bit came off as disingenuous to me although it appeared Brandon bought it.  We have to remember his weakness for hot women though.  Whitney could not care less about Cochran.  If she met him in the real world she would not give him the time of day.  She has essentially ignored him since the beginning and never liked him.  It’s actually a little surprising to learn that she has never voted for him. 

Dawn got Brandon going by saying it was hard for her to watch everyone eat.  Brandon then was confused because during the challenge Dawn wanted to stay in the challenge long enough so they could all enjoy their food.  Then Brandon said a whole lot of things that I did not understand and Dawn tried to say that it was just miscommunication.  With Brandon miscommunication is a daily occurrence.  Ultimately and expectedly, Jim was voted out and sent to RI.  I am guessing that next week we will have a three way battle to see which one gets to either stay on RI or get back in the game?  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Rick Perry is an idiot.  Wait, wrong blog.  I meant to say that RI has run its course.  When someone is voted off they need to go.  Period.  Now we face the possibility of seeing Ozzy get voted off a third time and no one needs to see that.