Survivor Nicaragua: Smuff my Torch
Good day my friends,
Angry. I am angry about what happened last night. I don’t understand it and I cannot explain it, but I will certainly try. The only good thing about last night was that we finally got some extended screen time for my fair Kelly. Oh, do you think I am angry about people quitting the game? No, I am angry about the incredibly blatant product placement, but more on that in a bit.
As the tribe returned from tribal council Kelly said she was confused and did not know what was going on. I think if anything is clear from every episode we have seen thus far it is that Kelly has never had any idea what was going on, but she was specifically referring to the ouster of Brenda.
Then it rained. And it rained and it rained and it rained. The deluge. There was so much rains that a raging river appeared in front of the camp. Kelly was cold. NaOnka was cold and far worse, her ass hurt. They spoke of quitting, but surely no one would quit with a mere 11 days standing between them and a cool million bucks. Right? Fabio did his best to comfort Kelly by telling her that she should go to her happy place like he does and she will be okay. Now, I can only imagine what Fabio’s happy place looks like and frankly I do not want to know. Kelly’s happy place on the other hand? Well that would be snuggling as close to me as possible and feeding me grapes.
Everything looked good as Libertad headed to the reward challenge. The tribe was split into two teams, blue and yellow, with the helpless, useless and pathetic Dan being the odd man out. The challenge was to get an eight foot tall dummy named Gulliver through a series of obstacles while being tethered together and not allowing him to drop to the ground. Why was his name Gulliver? Well that leads to the reward and the blatant product placement. The winning team (and Dan if he hitched his wagon to the right team) would win movie night with a special screening of the upcoming film; Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black. The night would also include movie food: popcorn, soda, nachos, hot dogs and candy. All could be enjoyed while watching Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black.
Dan placed his bet on team blue, which consisted of Holly, Benry, NaOnka and Chase. It was a back and forth battle as each team carried Gulliver from the upcoming film Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black through the obstacles. Awaiting them at the finish line was by far the funniest thing I have seen on Survivor this season and that was Dan and his bum knees sitting in a giant chair. He looked like a dwarf and it cracked me up. In the end team blue was victorious and Dan would be getting a reward for doing absolutely nothing, which is pretty much what he has done for 28 days.
As Jeff was getting ready to speak NaOnka spoke up and said that this would be her last day on Survivor as she was quitting. Jeff got all bug eyed while the rest of the world rejoiced that we would finally be rid of the PE teacher from hell. She explained that she had had enough and tonight would be her last night. With this news Jeff, almost on cue, asked if anyone else was ready to quit and suddenly my rejoicing turned to a nightmare as the luscious Kelly spoke up and said that she too would be done at the end of this night. Unbelievable. Two quitters in one season? Why Kelly why? Please go to your happy place and stay. Jeff was dumfounded and convinced each of them to take the rest of the day and think about it. Both agreed.
But before the winners could go and watch Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black Jeff just had to throw a monkey wrench into everything. He said that if one member from the winning team would give up the reward then the entire tribe would get a new tarp and enough rice to last the next 11 days. Immediately I thought that NaOnka should give her spot up and take one for the team since she was quitting anyway and would be soon eating, showering and sleeping in a real bed. Or maybe Dan could have spoken up since he did absolutely nothing but sit in a big ass chair at the finish line. (I am sure he needed a boost to get up there) But, Holly spoke up and decided that she would give up her dreams of a hot dog and Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black and stay with the tribe. Her reasoning was simple: she liked to be dry at camp too and the tarp would benefit her just as much as everyone else. Benry loudly protested and kept urging NaOnka to speak up and take Holly’s place, but it was not to be. NaOnka was as selfish as she has been the entire game. It’s all about NaOnka according to NaOnka. If she had changed her mind about quitting that would be different, but there was no indication that she had yet changed her mind.
So Holly stayed behind and NaOnka got to go eat even though she would soon be quitting. Dan would be eating even though he did not earn it in the least. Off the winners went to see Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black and enjoy some good food. I will admit that it was a nice setup, but come on. I understand that product placement is becoming more and more prevalent as more people (such as myself) use a DVR for all their TV viewing, but it has gotten really bad. It blatantly happens every week on Chuck with talk of Subway and some car company. (See how well this works on me) I even saw a clip from some soap opera with the characters talking about chex mix and another where they discussed Midol. Stop it!
Back at camp Holly did her best to convince my fair Kelly to stay. She talked about her daughter wanted to quit some team and she convinced her not too and they won the state championship. Awesome. Holly told her to suck it up and do her best for the last 11 days. I thought Holly had inspired her, but then we got a clip of Kelly talking about their discussion and alas, we knew the end was near. Kelly said she was told to suck it up, but she had nothing left to suck. (As much as I’d like to, I will not make a joke about that)
The tribe reconvened at tribal council and we learned that Brenda cleans up very nicely as well. They discussed quitting and Jeff got angry. We knew that there would be at least one quitter since there was no immunity challenge and Jane was still wearing the immunity necklace. Jeff asked how they liked Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black and they all said it was funny. I wondered though if Benry had hated it would they have cut that from the broadcast? By the time Jeff got around to asking NaOnka if she truly wanted to quit he seemed to be fuming. He asked NaOnka if she felt she had any real shot to win this game and shockingly she said yes. That surprised Jeff as much as it did me. Jeff asked Kelly if she still wanted to quit and since she had sucked up everything she possibly could have she said yes as well. It was over. All over for the beautiful and sexy Kelly. (However, I will note that I am really looking forward to seeing how well she cleans up next week. She should look remarkable.)
The next step was to ask NaOnka how she wanted to go out and she replied that she wanted her torch “smuffed” like everyone else. Ah yes, the old “smuff” of the torch. Kelly instead decided that she wanted her torch snuffed like normal people. Over in the Jury, Marty and Brenda were visibly upset and for some unknown reason Alina was crying. Apparently she had put some money on the game.
Now, what really bugs me is that NaOnka and Kelly still get to be a part of the jury. I think if you quit you are also giving up your right to decide the winner, but that does not seem to be the way it works. Jeff “smuffed” NaOnkas torch and then snuffed Kellys before putting them aside so that they would have to look at them every day they came back on the jury. Rub it in Jeff. Please.
It looks to me like chaos will reign as we get near the end of this season and I am looking forward to it all. I would have like to see my Kelly make it to the end, but it was not meant to be. 11 more days. That’s all she had to do, but now she and NaOnka will forever be known as Survivor quitters. While NaOnka had virtually no shot to win Kelly could have, but we will never know as they are both gone. Sadness
Happy Hanukkah
As the tribe returned from tribal council Kelly said she was confused and did not know what was going on. I think if anything is clear from every episode we have seen thus far it is that Kelly has never had any idea what was going on, but she was specifically referring to the ouster of Brenda.
Then it rained. And it rained and it rained and it rained. The deluge. There was so much rains that a raging river appeared in front of the camp. Kelly was cold. NaOnka was cold and far worse, her ass hurt. They spoke of quitting, but surely no one would quit with a mere 11 days standing between them and a cool million bucks. Right? Fabio did his best to comfort Kelly by telling her that she should go to her happy place like he does and she will be okay. Now, I can only imagine what Fabio’s happy place looks like and frankly I do not want to know. Kelly’s happy place on the other hand? Well that would be snuggling as close to me as possible and feeding me grapes.
Everything looked good as Libertad headed to the reward challenge. The tribe was split into two teams, blue and yellow, with the helpless, useless and pathetic Dan being the odd man out. The challenge was to get an eight foot tall dummy named Gulliver through a series of obstacles while being tethered together and not allowing him to drop to the ground. Why was his name Gulliver? Well that leads to the reward and the blatant product placement. The winning team (and Dan if he hitched his wagon to the right team) would win movie night with a special screening of the upcoming film; Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black. The night would also include movie food: popcorn, soda, nachos, hot dogs and candy. All could be enjoyed while watching Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black.
Dan placed his bet on team blue, which consisted of Holly, Benry, NaOnka and Chase. It was a back and forth battle as each team carried Gulliver from the upcoming film Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black through the obstacles. Awaiting them at the finish line was by far the funniest thing I have seen on Survivor this season and that was Dan and his bum knees sitting in a giant chair. He looked like a dwarf and it cracked me up. In the end team blue was victorious and Dan would be getting a reward for doing absolutely nothing, which is pretty much what he has done for 28 days.
As Jeff was getting ready to speak NaOnka spoke up and said that this would be her last day on Survivor as she was quitting. Jeff got all bug eyed while the rest of the world rejoiced that we would finally be rid of the PE teacher from hell. She explained that she had had enough and tonight would be her last night. With this news Jeff, almost on cue, asked if anyone else was ready to quit and suddenly my rejoicing turned to a nightmare as the luscious Kelly spoke up and said that she too would be done at the end of this night. Unbelievable. Two quitters in one season? Why Kelly why? Please go to your happy place and stay. Jeff was dumfounded and convinced each of them to take the rest of the day and think about it. Both agreed.
But before the winners could go and watch Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black Jeff just had to throw a monkey wrench into everything. He said that if one member from the winning team would give up the reward then the entire tribe would get a new tarp and enough rice to last the next 11 days. Immediately I thought that NaOnka should give her spot up and take one for the team since she was quitting anyway and would be soon eating, showering and sleeping in a real bed. Or maybe Dan could have spoken up since he did absolutely nothing but sit in a big ass chair at the finish line. (I am sure he needed a boost to get up there) But, Holly spoke up and decided that she would give up her dreams of a hot dog and Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black and stay with the tribe. Her reasoning was simple: she liked to be dry at camp too and the tarp would benefit her just as much as everyone else. Benry loudly protested and kept urging NaOnka to speak up and take Holly’s place, but it was not to be. NaOnka was as selfish as she has been the entire game. It’s all about NaOnka according to NaOnka. If she had changed her mind about quitting that would be different, but there was no indication that she had yet changed her mind.
So Holly stayed behind and NaOnka got to go eat even though she would soon be quitting. Dan would be eating even though he did not earn it in the least. Off the winners went to see Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black and enjoy some good food. I will admit that it was a nice setup, but come on. I understand that product placement is becoming more and more prevalent as more people (such as myself) use a DVR for all their TV viewing, but it has gotten really bad. It blatantly happens every week on Chuck with talk of Subway and some car company. (See how well this works on me) I even saw a clip from some soap opera with the characters talking about chex mix and another where they discussed Midol. Stop it!
Back at camp Holly did her best to convince my fair Kelly to stay. She talked about her daughter wanted to quit some team and she convinced her not too and they won the state championship. Awesome. Holly told her to suck it up and do her best for the last 11 days. I thought Holly had inspired her, but then we got a clip of Kelly talking about their discussion and alas, we knew the end was near. Kelly said she was told to suck it up, but she had nothing left to suck. (As much as I’d like to, I will not make a joke about that)
The tribe reconvened at tribal council and we learned that Brenda cleans up very nicely as well. They discussed quitting and Jeff got angry. We knew that there would be at least one quitter since there was no immunity challenge and Jane was still wearing the immunity necklace. Jeff asked how they liked Gulliver’s Travels starring Jack Black and they all said it was funny. I wondered though if Benry had hated it would they have cut that from the broadcast? By the time Jeff got around to asking NaOnka if she truly wanted to quit he seemed to be fuming. He asked NaOnka if she felt she had any real shot to win this game and shockingly she said yes. That surprised Jeff as much as it did me. Jeff asked Kelly if she still wanted to quit and since she had sucked up everything she possibly could have she said yes as well. It was over. All over for the beautiful and sexy Kelly. (However, I will note that I am really looking forward to seeing how well she cleans up next week. She should look remarkable.)
The next step was to ask NaOnka how she wanted to go out and she replied that she wanted her torch “smuffed” like everyone else. Ah yes, the old “smuff” of the torch. Kelly instead decided that she wanted her torch snuffed like normal people. Over in the Jury, Marty and Brenda were visibly upset and for some unknown reason Alina was crying. Apparently she had put some money on the game.
Now, what really bugs me is that NaOnka and Kelly still get to be a part of the jury. I think if you quit you are also giving up your right to decide the winner, but that does not seem to be the way it works. Jeff “smuffed” NaOnkas torch and then snuffed Kellys before putting them aside so that they would have to look at them every day they came back on the jury. Rub it in Jeff. Please.
It looks to me like chaos will reign as we get near the end of this season and I am looking forward to it all. I would have like to see my Kelly make it to the end, but it was not meant to be. 11 more days. That’s all she had to do, but now she and NaOnka will forever be known as Survivor quitters. While NaOnka had virtually no shot to win Kelly could have, but we will never know as they are both gone. Sadness
Happy Hanukkah
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