Survivor Redemption Island: Secret Agent Man

Good day my friends,

Survivor is back and I have a feeling after last night’s episode that we are in for a wild season.  But before I get too far into breaking down the premiere of Survivor: Redemption Island I need to first remind you that Phillip was once a federal agent because I am not too sure that he mentioned that often enough last night.  Please also keep in mind that this season was filmed last August & September after Nicaragua was filmed, but before it aired.

The premiere began with Jeff looking cool in a helicopter.  I mention this only because Jeff has this aura around him that allows him to look cool under any circumstances.  The teams reached the beach and were immediately separated into our two tribes: Ometepe (orange buffs) and Zapatera (purple buffs).  That’s when Jeff brought out the two additional contestants and all of our new Survivors knew them immediately.  Boston Rob and Russell reached the beach to mixed emotions.  They each had to put their hand in a bag and pull out a wrapped buff to see which tribe they would be assigned to.  Rob pulled Ometepe to the exuberant shouts of those in orange.  Russell went to Zapatera and was initially met with groans, but then the purples put on brave faces and half heartedly welcomed him.

I will have to say that initially I do not like the idea of bringing back Rob & Russell.  I think the fun of Survivor is learning about the new people that will be our cast for the season, but too much emphasis is being placed on the past rivalry between the two of them and I am afraid it will hurt the season.  That remains to be seen however.  We have been given what appears to be a very dynamic cast of nut jobs and then we have the added twist of Redemption Island.  I am not sure how that will play out either as we have not seen it in play yet, but we shall know more about that next week.

Russell made his typical opening move of picking a hot girl, this time he chose the deliciously hot and sexy legged Stephanie, forming an alliance and promising to take her to the merge.  Rob on the other hand aligned himself with a bevy of young cuties leaving Phillip (was he a federal agent?), Kristina and Francesca in the cold.  Also on Rob’s Team Orange were a couple of guys that we basically learned nothing about.  Well I guess we did learn that Matt loves Jesus and is modeling his life after him which instantly brings to my mind images like Survivor of Nazareth and Survivor Bethlehem.  I can just see Jeff as he announces the walking on water challenge for immunity and Judas whining that Jesus is about to kick ass again.

In addition to being a federal agent, a bizarre African American doppelganger of Jean-Luc Picard and dry mouthed, we learned that Phillip apparently models droopy fuchsia underwear in his spare time.  Francesca did not seem particularly impressed or thrilled with this notion and made possibly the best line of the nigh when she commented “How did I get stuck with the old annoying guy in the droopy fuchsia briefs?”  Apparently being a federal agent inhibits ones ability to realize that wandering around in your underwear is not a good look.  I’m not sure if being a federal agent or the dry mouth is to blame for being unable to pronounce the name Francesca, but I am inclined to blame the secret agent thing.

Rob also caught Kristina searching in the tool box for a hidden immunity idol clue.  This was a big mistake on Kristina’s part, but to her credit she did actually find the hidden immunity idol on her own without a clue.  Naturally she decided that she had to tell Francesca about the idol because god forbid anyone on this show ever keeps that a secret. 

Over at Zapatera Russell was a busy little bee letting everyone know that he was the new and improved Russell and would not be sabotaging anything this time around.  As mentioned earlier he picked the delectable Stephanie to be his crummy little toady, but I am not so sure she will stick with this.  I could see her turning on him early especially because others on the tribe quickly picked up on this as they too know Russell’s M.O.  The guys on the tribe do not seem the least bit thrilled with Russell being there and seemingly want to get rid of him early.  Since we saw so little of this tribe prior to the immunity challenge I kind of had an idea that they would win the challenge and tribal council would be a moot point.  So, was I right?

The immunity challenge consisted of three steps:

1. Push four giant blocks across a track to form a staircase to get to the next level.
2. Cutting a bunch of ropes to release another set of stairs.
3. Putting together a puzzle.

Zapatera took a huge lead in the challenge, but Ometepe caught up when it came down to the puzzle.  In the end it was not enough and Zapatera had won the first challenge.  Rob looked defeated and he was, but thankfully he had a bunch of hotties to console him back at camp.

Rob took his crew aside and went with the assumption that it was entirely possible that Kristina had found the hidden immunity idol and said they should split the vote between her and Francesca.  Kristina is obviously not as bright as Rob, but that was easily proven by the simple sight of the gigantic tramp stamp on her back.  My gosh have you ever seen a more disgusting looking tattoo?  I mean seriously some people can pull it off and some cannot.  She cannot.  So her bright idea was to show Phillip the federal agent (I think) the immunity idol and tell him that they would have the numbers in voting for Rob.  What a dummy.

I will say that the ensuing tribal council was very likely the most entertaining tribal council to ever start a season.  Even Jeff looked shocked at what he was hearing.  It started innocently enough, but turned into a wacky free for all with Phillip being unable to correctly pronounce Francesca, getting dry mouth and saying excuse me almost as much as he said he was a federal agent.  You know if he had just called her Fran he probably would not have had as much trouble.  Phillip exposed the plot of Fran early on and she and Kristina denied it.  Then Phillip told everyone that Kristina had the immunity idol.  Kristina looked shocked and pretty darn pissed at the same time.  Kristina had no choice but to bring the idol out in the open for all to see.

Rob had an interesting proposal for Kristina as he had asked her to allow him to hold the idol and in return he would guarantee her safety.  Kristina had a brief moment of lucidity (kind of like Maw Maw on Raising Hope) and told him no way.  After the votes were cast it seemed like an obvious play for Kristina to use her idol.  After all she knew she was a target and if for no other reason maybe it’s a good idea to get rid of it.  After all you found one so what is to say that you cannot find another?  But, Kristina did not play it and she lucked out as the split vote when as expected and Francesca was voted out and sent to Redemption Island.  What will happen to her there?  Well at the very least she will be spared the sight of Phillip in his undies and will not have to be reminded that he was once a federal agent. 

As I mentioned earlier it will be very interesting to see how Redemption Island plays out, but we may not see that right away as we need to get someone else voted out and sent there before they can duel.  No, it will not be a duel to the death, but it should be interesting nonetheless. 

I hope you dear readers enjoyed the first episode of this season as much as I did.  I look forward to more craziness in the weeks to come.  I also think we can make a drinking game out of how many times Phillip mentions being a former federal agent.  If anyone tries that let me know.

Keep watching my friends…