Survivor: South Pacific: Ozzy's Pleasure Dome
I had no idea I would get this many complaints about not posting a Survivor
update. Sometimes I have busy days. I understand they are rare, but they do
occasionally happen and yesterday was just one of those days. My
apologies.
The penultimate episode of Survivor: South Pacific was a
doozy. This may have been the finest episode of a stellar season. We started
off with the five remaining survivors making their way back to camp after
ousting Edna. Then they proceeded to hug, congratulate each other and pray.
Praying has become a recurring theme for this season and this episode had plenty
of it. While I have absolutely no trouble with anyone taking time to pray, I do
have a problem with foolish prayers. Again, if God is spending all of his/her
time watching Survivor and is overly concerned about the outcome then our world
is way more screwed up than I initially thought. But, the happiness would soon
be wearing off as the reality of having to get rid of one of their own would
soon be setting in.
Albert let us know that he did not trust Sophie. He apparently has come to the conclusion that his one time ally has become dangerous and needs to go next. This led to a conversation between Albert and the rarely seen or heard from Cowboy Guy in which he introduces himself and says glad to meet you. No, he tells him that he wants Sophie gone and it will be himself, Coach and Cowboy Guy in the final three. This is important for you to remember later.
At the RI duel it was Edna against Ozzy in a puzzle battle. The idea of a puzzle challenge was intriguing because Ozzy is generally not very good at puzzles. It also did not help that the entire tribe was sitting there shouting out encouragement and assistance to Edna. Alas, Edna came up short and Ozzy remained on Redemption Island, which has now somehow become known as “Ozzy’s Pleasure Dome”. That sounds a lot dirtier than it actually is.
With Ozzy still in control of RI and soon to be returning
to the game it was time to start discussing who to vote off, which is always
premature when you do it before the immunity challenge and generally foreshadows
what is to come. Sophie declared that the more people that go through Ozzy’s
Pleasure Dome the more people he can sway to vote for him based on the fact that
he fed them and was nice to them for days. Interesting theory, but I’d still
have a tough time voting for Ozzy since he annoys the crap out of me.
As Coach relaxed in the hammock, he and Albert were discussing whether to vote out Sophie or Brandon when Brandon suddenly appeared. As we know with Brandon he does not do a thing unless God tells him to, so God apparently made Brandon walk up to them at precisely the right moment. Brandon was upset and asked what they were talking about. Coach lied, of course, and said they were discussing how the minds of the jury members work. Brandon, wisely for once, did not believe him and told Coach as much. Coach went on the defensive, said he was offended that Brandon did not believe him, compared him to his Uncle Russell and entered some incredible guilt in the mind of poor, dumb Hantz. Brandon apologized and then went into hug and prayer mode. That poor sap. So dumb, so young and also so loco based on his tattoo that says as much.
The immunity challenge involved scaling a wall to receive five bags of
puzzle pieces, assemble the puzzle and then use two unused pieces as a
combination on a lock to raise the immunity flag. This challenge involved a lot
of action in which people fell on their duffs, which was quite amusing. It also
came with reward in the way of pizza and soda delivered to you at camp by a guy
on a jet ski. Somehow, as it was prophesized earlier when they decided Brandon
would be the one to go, Brandon won immunity. Brandon thanked Jesus which was
immediately met with a crash of lightning striking him down for wasting his time
praying for frivolous things. No, sorry, unfortunately no lightning. Brando
then was asked to choose someone to join in the pizza feast and naturally he
chose…Cowboy Guy? Probably because he had just realized that he was on the
island with them and fell bad for this lonely and lost cowboy.
Coach was visibly angry that Brandon had won because he was the target for the next TC. Coach said that he was a believer in divine intervention and it was not Brandon’s time to go. He also added that he was at peace with that. Actually he said “I’m pissed, but I’m at peace with that”. I’m sorry Coach, but if you’re pissed you are not at peace.
As the pizza was delivered and the two guys were enjoying their pies, Sophie made the incredibly unsubtle move of walking over to them under the guise of wanting to smell their pizza. On a side note, I often go into restaurants and ask people if I can smell their pizza. Just a quirk of mine I guess. Anyway, Sophie immediately tore into Albert and said how much she wanted to get rid of him, planting the seeds in Brandon’s easily manipulated head. Brando found out that Albert had discussed with Cowboy Guy his desire to go to the final three with Coach. This confused our young Hantz, who had apparently been told by God (or Coach) that he was going to the final three and he went off to confront Albert head on. Not wanting to miss out on any action, Cowboy Guy and Sophie followed.
Albert & Cowboy Guy got into a battle. Albert lied straight to his face about his earlier discussion with him and they had quite the shouting match while Brandon & Sophie looked on. Albert was caught in his own web of lies and effectively sealed his own fate. But wait, there’s still a chance as we all know that Brandon is a dummy. Albert went to discuss the situation with Brandon and despite one of the poorest acting jobs I have ever seen, he somehow convinced Brandon that he was telling the truth. Brandon then said that he not only believed him, but he would not vote for him. Then he went even further and told him he’d hand over his immunity necklace to him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop the clock. Of all the ignorant, boneheaded moves one can make in playing Survivor, perhaps none is dumber than giving up immunity. Never give up immunity. NEVER! So then Albert vows not to vote for Brandon and Brandon does the natural thing and goes to tell Coach of his plan to give up immunity.
Coach must have thought this was a gift from the Survivor gods and probably had to do
everything humanly possible to avoid bursting into laughter. Coach told Brandon
he would pray about it, because apparently this is Survivor: Prayer Island, and
do whatever God tells him to do. Then as we see Coach kneeling on the beach we
hear him say “I begged God to speak to me like he’s never spoken to me before”.
Now, I was fully expecting a scene right out of Monty Python and the Holy Grail
with God parting the clouds and telling Coach what to do, but instead God
apparently just put little voices in his head to tell him what to do. I get the
feeling that there are many voices in Coach’s head.
At TC we were again treated to the sight of the stunningly lovely Whitney all cleaned up, but that’s not important right now. As Jeff began to speak Brandon interrupted with his announcement that he was giving his immunity to Albert. Jeff looked truly shocked as did the jury. What a moron. Brandon also started talking about being in a gang and going to fight and him being the only one to show up or something like that. Honestly I have no idea what he was talking about.
Jeff questioned Albert and found out that he and Brandon had somehow bonded spiritually. Jeff asked Albert if he would return the favor and give the necklace back to Brandon. Albert replied that he would if he thought there was a chance that Brandon was getting voted off that night, but he felt that Brandon was in no danger. As the questions progressed it became clear, even to Brandon himself that Brandon was indeed in danger. Jeff asked him if he expected Albert to return the favor to which Brandon replied “It’s up to him”. Albert was not going to give up immunity and he had to know that Brandon was a goner.
As they went up to vote we saw that Sophie had two votes and Brandon had two and Coach was the man in the middle. Now, we have to remember that Coach
still has the hidden immunity idol in his possession and if he really was that
close with Brandon he could have given it to him. Still, he could have voted
for Sophie or even Cowboy Guy, but in the end Coach voted for Brandon and sent
him off to Ozzy’s Pleasure Dome. Coach gave Brandon a hug and told him it was
“God’s will” which had to be the least comforting thing a normal person would
want to hear at that point, but it was probably perfect for Brandon.
So now we have the final episode of the season on Sunday night. Who will be victorious? Will Brandon be able to defeat Ozzy and get back into the game? What exactly is God’s will when it comes to Survivor? Will Coach pray about getting to the final three? Will Brandon ever stop being a complete idiot? So many questions and in one night they shall be answered. I’m just saying that right now I would be voting for Sophie to win the game. She has played a great social game and has been very competitive. It’s her game to lose as far as I can see.
Albert let us know that he did not trust Sophie. He apparently has come to the conclusion that his one time ally has become dangerous and needs to go next. This led to a conversation between Albert and the rarely seen or heard from Cowboy Guy in which he introduces himself and says glad to meet you. No, he tells him that he wants Sophie gone and it will be himself, Coach and Cowboy Guy in the final three. This is important for you to remember later.
At the RI duel it was Edna against Ozzy in a puzzle battle. The idea of a puzzle challenge was intriguing because Ozzy is generally not very good at puzzles. It also did not help that the entire tribe was sitting there shouting out encouragement and assistance to Edna. Alas, Edna came up short and Ozzy remained on Redemption Island, which has now somehow become known as “Ozzy’s Pleasure Dome”. That sounds a lot dirtier than it actually is.
As Coach relaxed in the hammock, he and Albert were discussing whether to vote out Sophie or Brandon when Brandon suddenly appeared. As we know with Brandon he does not do a thing unless God tells him to, so God apparently made Brandon walk up to them at precisely the right moment. Brandon was upset and asked what they were talking about. Coach lied, of course, and said they were discussing how the minds of the jury members work. Brandon, wisely for once, did not believe him and told Coach as much. Coach went on the defensive, said he was offended that Brandon did not believe him, compared him to his Uncle Russell and entered some incredible guilt in the mind of poor, dumb Hantz. Brandon apologized and then went into hug and prayer mode. That poor sap. So dumb, so young and also so loco based on his tattoo that says as much.
The immunity challenge involved scaling a wall to receive five bags of
Coach was visibly angry that Brandon had won because he was the target for the next TC. Coach said that he was a believer in divine intervention and it was not Brandon’s time to go. He also added that he was at peace with that. Actually he said “I’m pissed, but I’m at peace with that”. I’m sorry Coach, but if you’re pissed you are not at peace.
As the pizza was delivered and the two guys were enjoying their pies, Sophie made the incredibly unsubtle move of walking over to them under the guise of wanting to smell their pizza. On a side note, I often go into restaurants and ask people if I can smell their pizza. Just a quirk of mine I guess. Anyway, Sophie immediately tore into Albert and said how much she wanted to get rid of him, planting the seeds in Brandon’s easily manipulated head. Brando found out that Albert had discussed with Cowboy Guy his desire to go to the final three with Coach. This confused our young Hantz, who had apparently been told by God (or Coach) that he was going to the final three and he went off to confront Albert head on. Not wanting to miss out on any action, Cowboy Guy and Sophie followed.
Albert & Cowboy Guy got into a battle. Albert lied straight to his face about his earlier discussion with him and they had quite the shouting match while Brandon & Sophie looked on. Albert was caught in his own web of lies and effectively sealed his own fate. But wait, there’s still a chance as we all know that Brandon is a dummy. Albert went to discuss the situation with Brandon and despite one of the poorest acting jobs I have ever seen, he somehow convinced Brandon that he was telling the truth. Brandon then said that he not only believed him, but he would not vote for him. Then he went even further and told him he’d hand over his immunity necklace to him.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Stop the clock. Of all the ignorant, boneheaded moves one can make in playing Survivor, perhaps none is dumber than giving up immunity. Never give up immunity. NEVER! So then Albert vows not to vote for Brandon and Brandon does the natural thing and goes to tell Coach of his plan to give up immunity.
At TC we were again treated to the sight of the stunningly lovely Whitney all cleaned up, but that’s not important right now. As Jeff began to speak Brandon interrupted with his announcement that he was giving his immunity to Albert. Jeff looked truly shocked as did the jury. What a moron. Brandon also started talking about being in a gang and going to fight and him being the only one to show up or something like that. Honestly I have no idea what he was talking about.
Jeff questioned Albert and found out that he and Brandon had somehow bonded spiritually. Jeff asked Albert if he would return the favor and give the necklace back to Brandon. Albert replied that he would if he thought there was a chance that Brandon was getting voted off that night, but he felt that Brandon was in no danger. As the questions progressed it became clear, even to Brandon himself that Brandon was indeed in danger. Jeff asked him if he expected Albert to return the favor to which Brandon replied “It’s up to him”. Albert was not going to give up immunity and he had to know that Brandon was a goner.
As they went up to vote we saw that Sophie had two votes and Brandon had two and Coach was the man in the middle. Now, we have to remember that Coach
So now we have the final episode of the season on Sunday night. Who will be victorious? Will Brandon be able to defeat Ozzy and get back into the game? What exactly is God’s will when it comes to Survivor? Will Coach pray about getting to the final three? Will Brandon ever stop being a complete idiot? So many questions and in one night they shall be answered. I’m just saying that right now I would be voting for Sophie to win the game. She has played a great social game and has been very competitive. It’s her game to lose as far as I can see.
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