Survivor Nicaragua: Milk Your Own Milk
We finally had the emergence last night that we have all been waiting for. The return of Purple Kelly. Yippee! Oh, she is so darn cute I can hardly stand it. We need Purple Kelly for the show to be a success this season, but more on her later. We had a lot of fun in this episode and we should get right to it.
As the tribes returned to their camps, Dan referred to himself as Teflon Dan because seemingly everything just slides right off of him. It made me wonder if Dan would be better off if someone whacked him in the head with a Teflon pan. How this worthless clown is still in the game is beyond me. And speaking of clowns how about that hair on Marty? I think he is getting to look more and more like a troll doll.
We had separate reward and immunity challenges tonight and for that I was thankful. It’s always fun to see these people try to do anything involving any sort of skill. The reward challenge was for a trip to a working Nicaraguan farm and having a full breakfast. Added into this challenge was the added fun of getting to milk a cow. The challenge itself was pretty simple: run down a ramp, jump in the air and throw the ball into a net on the other side of a pool of water. Standing on a platform in the middle of the pool was a member of the other team in an attempt to block the shot. Fabio was the blocker for La Flor and Chase for Espada.
Now there were four specific parts of this challenge that stood out:
1. Purple Kelly (now our only Kelly) running down the ramp in her bikini and jumping in the air. Let me say that again. Kelly running down the ramp in a bikini. Did you get that? Kelly, bikini and motion = hitting rewind about a half a dozen times.
2. Dan, leisurely strolling down the ramp, throwing the ball and then stepping off into the water. Um, that knee is not a problem and this guy is good for your team because…? Jeff explained to him he would have to jump and throw the ball while airborne for the shot to count. As it was it turned out that Dan’s “shot” was more of a game of catch with Fabio.
3. Chase getting nailed in the groin with one of the throws and then falling in the water.
4. Fabio relieving himself in the water. Yes folks, Fabio took a break in the water, in the middle of the game before climbing up on to the platform to wiz in the pool. Next up for jumping in the piss water: NaOnka!
I seriously would have had a problem jumping in that water after Fabio did his thing. Could he have not said something to Jeff and gone off into the bushes? Why did he have to soil the water? That was just gross, yet hilarious since it was not happening to me.
Espada won the challenge which was unfortunate because it ensured that we would not get to see Kelly milk a cow. However, we did get the best line of the evening when the producers finally gave our precious Kelly some screen time with a brief interview. She spoke about how she would have really liked to have been able to go have breakfast where everyone would have the opportunity to “milk your own milk”. Okay, so she’s not that bright, but neither is Fabio and he gets airtime.
The next morning at the farm we saw some fairly lame attempts to milk a cow. Believe me when I say it was not pretty. Then it was off to breakfast served outside. Rice, beans, tortillas and a big ass hunk of cheese can apparently lead women to tears. Just ask Holly and Alina who started blubbering while they ate. Now I understand that rice, beans, tortillas and cheese is an awesome breakfast, but seriously…tears? It’s just food ladies. Teflon Dan did not seem to feel your angst either and I though NaOnka was going to burst out laughing. Kind of like the time I did a karaoke version of Da Doo Ron Ron and I messed up the words and sang Da Doo Ron Reagan.
The immunity challenge was a little more complicated, but not much. Two players from each team would be at the top of a platform and would roll cannonballs down a ramp to break tiles of the other team. The tricky part was getting your teammates below to pull on ropes to get the angles correct so tiles would smash. There were large and small cannonballs to use creating a challenge to the rollers. Benry had quite the knack for this and even said at one point that all he had was small balls. Impressive. Equally impressive was watching Kelly roll the balls down the chute for La Flor, despite the fact that she could not have hit a whale if it was at the bottom. Naturally Espada came out victorious thanks to Benry’s small balls.
So La Flor would have to go to tribal council. They figured they would flush out the idol by splitting the vote: three votes for Marty and two for Jill (as they figured the two of them would throw two votes Jane’s way) that way if Marty played the idol it would come down to a tiebreaker between Jane & Jill (while somewhere else we see Spot run). If Marty chose to hold onto the idol he would go. It was a win-win situation.
But Sash could not leave well enough alone. He said he would go to Marty and ask him to hand over the idol while he promised to not vote him out. Well, this is just dumb. Why would Marty give up immunity for three more days? Just play the thing and see what happens. You have to think you get voted out three days from now regardless. But, Sash sweetened to pot by telling Marty that if he did this and they did not win immunity at the next challenge that he would return the idol to him. Marty, since he is apparently a dope, believed Sash and after thinking it over ACTUALLY HANDED OVER THE IMMUNITY IDOL. I’ve seen a lot of dumb things in this game over the years, but this has got to go in the top five. What, if any, guarantee did Marty have that they would stick to their word and vote out Jill? Stupid people! You’ve known Sash for how long now and you trust him? Hello? McFly?
So with the idol in his pocket (or was he just happy to finally see Kelly too) Sash and the tribe headed off to tribal council. Jeff asked about the idol and Sash told him it was in his pocket, which seemed to surprise Jeff just a little. Sash made a slight slip of the tongue when Jeff asked him if he would ever turn the idol over to Brenda to hold. Sash said “If that’s what we decide as a group maybe back at camp I’ll do that. At this moment I don’t think it serves a purpose, but if there’s a time I lose trust in them…” WAIT! Jeff called him on this immediately and Sash corrected himself to say “if they lose trust in me”, but it was out there. A definite Freudian slip. (I actually loved the part where Jeff asked Fabio if he knew who Freud was. To Fabio’s credit he knew. Maybe he is not nearly as dumb as he acts or looks. Quit laughing.) It looked to me as if his tribe mates may dissent, if only for a second and there was a brief moment where I thought it may be wise for Sash to use the idol. He did not and as promised, Jill was voted out. They had kept their word and Marty was safe for one more week. Show of hands please…how many think that Marty is getting that idol back? None of you? Gee, what a shock.
So with Jill out of the way maybe we can get some increased Kelly time. Please? Well, based on the previews for next week we are in for an early merge. Normally tribes merge at 10 contestants left, but we still have 12 (if you include Teflon Dan). I am looking forward to seeing how this works out and I am sure you are as well.
Music and passion were always the fashion…
Comments
Post a Comment